We’ve had an emotional few days here. I won’t trouble you with all the details, they wouldn’t really register as a tiny drop in the ocean of many people’s woes, but suffice to say, we’ve had tears aplenty. It’s at times like this, that I find myself sewing, purely for the benefit of the process itself. For me, this really is needlepoint therapy. Somehow, when I pick up my needle and start to fill in the holes in the canvass, a gradual calm comes over me, that can be difficult to find in other ways.
I’ve come to realise that for me this is a kind of meditation. At some point in the process, my mind comes in from the cold and begins to focus. This I find enormously relaxing. The downside is that when I’m in this state of, shall we call it ‘process flow’, I don’t always stick to the design ideas I started out with. This doesn’t bother me at the time that I’m doing it, but sometimes the outcomes aren’t exactly what I’d been expecting.
At the moment, the only really satisfying piece that I’m working on, is the one on the upholstery canvas. I find that the texture – somehow both soft and firm at the same time – is comforting to hold as I work on it, but of course as I knew it would, it bends like crazy. The design is rectangles and lines – a greatly inspired choice I hear you say, for a wonky canvas, but I don’t mind that. The thing is, it’s not really achieving the ‘look’ I’d had in my mind when I started, and I think that’s mainly because I’ve spent more time working on it while I’ve been upset, than perhaps is good for the design.
So, I think I shall make the most of it, by designating this piece my therapy canvas. It won’t matter to me whether or not anybody else likes it, what matters is that by doing it, I’ve been keeping my self together. It’s my self-healing work.